What Was I Supposed to be?

Friends, something has been on my heart lately, to the point where I have awoken at 6 in the morning simply lying in my bed with these song lyrics running through my sleep-addled brain:

"Jesus, what was I supposed to be?
What were my eyes supposed to see?
Why did I taste of death,
Before I even drew a breath?
Or lay my head at my  mother's breast, to sleep?
Oh Jesus, what was I supposed to be?"
--Acappella 

These words, these seemingly whimsical, unimportant words have been floating through my mind as if trapped, wanting to escape and be free. And I realized exactly why they have been going through my head: this song is about babies that have been silenced. These words are  about children who have never seen this side of heaven. These lyrics are about innocent souls who have never been given the chance to further God's Kingdom.
Let that sink in...Really and truly, please, I beg of you, let those thoughts take root into your mind. Not because I said them, but because they are echoes of the Lord's words. God puts such a large amount of importance on his children, on those who are innocent, "childlike."

Friends my heart is deeply troubled, not because of sin, no that is not what troubles me; what troubles me is that some of my fellow Christians have decided that trying to stay in line with culture is more important that following the Lord's commands in Scripture. Perhaps not all of you have decided to take this stance, and thank Heaven for that, but have you allowed those who would influence you to think and believe more in line with our worldly culture and not with Scripture into your hearts and minds? I understand the temptation, I really do, and I am certainly not infallible in his area, and I admit that I am deeply ashamed for having stayed quiet on this topic for so long. But friends, abortion is wrong. Plain and simple. There is nothing, I repeat NOTHING in Scripture that give us the freedom or the license to be "okay" with murdering the truly innocent. And the idea that its not a viable human being whilst in the womb, is a tired, disgusting, and simply untrue argument that I am so incredibly tired of hearing. The science is so incredibly overwhelming that I am not even going to delve into that aspect because it would be completely unnecessary. Besides, why should science be the "deciding factor" in whether or not we decide if an innocent life lives or dies? As a Christian that troubles me greatly, that we have allowed science to finally catch up with God's Word; but you know what terrifies me? Even the proofs of said science are not enough to persuade some.

Brothers and Sisters who believe that abortions is somehow a matter of women's rights, I ask you, what gave women the right to decide when and how life is not worthy? If babies were being tossed off of buildings, or strangled to death, or worse at the age of 6 months we would be up in arms! How dare those women call themselves mothers!? We would cry. And yet we are perfectly okay with tossing aside our conscience in destroying innocent life no matter the earthly or especially the eternal consequence. I realize that some of you may read this and think I am simply an ignorant, legalistic, judgemental, heartless person who doesn't care about people. But again I ask you, as a fellow Christian, is it loving, or compassionate, to help young, vulnerable women, who perhaps are scared about having a baby and trying to figure out how to survive this world on her own let alone with another person to be responsible for, is it loving to reassure them that murdering that innocent life is okay when in all seriousness and eternal truth it isn't? Is it truly compassionate to tell those women the lie that sure, they won't have the immediate consequence of having the baby, but that statistics show, they will have the life-long effects of depression, and serious problems to deal with in this life? Without of course regarding the even greater importance of the eternal one. I know of women who have been suicidal, incredibly depressed, and feeling like there is no hope after a miscarriage, let alone after something as awful and truly painful as an abortion. Is it loving, my friends, to feed these young women this lie, that everything will be better afterwards if they just have the abortion, and that God will think nothing of it? As Christians how is that honest? How is that love? How is that compassion?

Now, I realize that there are lots of women who have had abortion and have received the beautiful grace of our Lord and Savior; and for that I rejoice! Because God truly is great, and his mercy and grace is unending, however, those women repented of their sin, they turned to Jesus and asked for his mercy and healing. And as we all know, those who ask shall receive. I am not saying that there is no hope for you women who have had abortions, there is always hope in our Lord Jesus. But these women are not who I am currently addressing in this post. Again, I am addressing my fellow Christians who feel the need to be okay with abortion.

I am deeply troubled by many things in this world, I truly am, but I think what astonishes me the most is how a topic, or a subject rather such as the sanctity of innocent life has somehow become controversial within our Christian community. I'm astounded by this, and frankly terrified, as I feel that this is a direct correlation with Satan's influence in our culture as well as how that has influenced some of our fellow Christians. I have heard several people state, well I personally would never have an abortion but I support the right to choose. As if this statement was some sort of firm middle ground? My Friends, I warn you, no in fact I beg you to please self-examine, re-evaluate, your current mindset. The idea that you can somehow be against the murdering of innocent life, and yet still support someone else's murder is in fact a dangerous spiritual farce. That stance is not some sort of "Switzerland" position, it is still in fact, a stance for murdering the innocent. If you cannot see how illogical that sounds than please don't even bother reading any of this.

My Friends, I love you. Yes, I love each and every one you, that is why I am so very deeply troubled by this. I implore each one of you who has any one of these beliefs or stances to please examine them with Scripture, and with Jesus's own words. All throughout Scripture we are shown pictures of Jesus' grace, and that grace should extend to the innocent souls that He has created.

"Was I to be a Prophet, used in the Ministry?
The one who would find the cure to some terrible disease?
Even if I'd been born, why couldn't my parents see?
I'd have been made perfect. But You came back for me.
Oh, Jesus, what was I supposed to be?
What were my eyes supposed to see?"

--Acappella            

The Wife Life

Oh my goodness it's been awhile hasn't it? Well, instead of another round of apologies for my horrible procrastination of writing this blog I'll just get right to it:

I'M MARRIED!!!!! Gosh, it feel good to finally say that. Actually, I have been married a little over three months now which still knocks my socks off to be honest. In some ways I feel like I've been married to Laredo for ten years, but then it still its me randomly, that I'm married, me! So weird... lol

Also, I'M GRADUATED FOREVER YAY!!!! Done with school! I have so much more freedom and flexibility it's wonderful! I enjoyed my time at LCU, but I'm definitely glad to be opening this chapter.

Life has definitely been moving, perhaps faster than I had initially thought, but in truth, I really enjoy it. Its fast-paced but its with my best friend, my husband. It's actually pretty wonderful!
What does my life consist of? Basically, daily laundry, and I mean daily! When Laredo works on his job he tends to get a bit, disheveled shall we put it. lol And the house, this is a constant upkeep and maintenance I have come to find, not that I'm complaining at all, however I do see the appeal to HGTV's tiny houses, or maybe even a tent. lol

But cooking! Oh my goodness ya'll, this is where this life is sooooo great! I love cooking, anyone that knows me knows how much I love to cook! And when I have all day to do it, its heavenly. (Just ask my husband ;) ) Living by myself if it's just me, I don't usually cook as much simply because frankly, there's no one to cook for? I could live on just butter, cheese, crackers, and chocolate peanut butter, but when Laredo gets home or cooking for friends and family? YAAAASSS! That is the absolute best!

I also have had some time to write. Which is actually quite nice, I've even put myself on a writers site to look for writing jobs and such. Obviously, I'll never make millions, but it's something fun to do that can earn a little extra money.

The absolute best part about this wife life is literally the flexibility! I can pick up and travel anywhere and almost anytime. When it rains and Laredo can't work, we can go take a day trip somewhere, go to the movies, or just not do anything together. (Which is also wonderful.) Anyone that tells me marriage is a "ball an' chain" is clearly not doing it right, and I feel bad, I truly do, because that kind of life sounds awful. Not that my marriage or my life is perfect, oh heavens no! But it works because we both have striven to keep God at the center of our lives and out marriage, this creates a perfect sense peace. Peace within our lives, and our marriage. I encourage you wives to lift up your husbands, be their biggest supporter, not their worst critic. Live your life with a positive and graceful attitude, one day at a time, and I swear, it will all pan out in the end.

Sincerely,


A happy wife :)

    

Alas, Time Keeps Marching

I have been the absolute worst when it comes to updating this blog regularly. My only excises is attempting to graduate, build a house, and plan a wedding all at the same time but ya know, no big deal. In reality though, I do intend on being better about updating this blog in the future. But enough of apologies, onto what has been going on lately.

 In a somewhat late celebration, Laredo and I have officially been together for over a year! (Hence the lovely pictures.) I could not have asked for a better, stronger, more spiritual man to have been blessed with in my life! I still am in shock sometimes realizing how lucky I truly am to be able to have him as my life-long partner in crime :)

Lately my dear friend Ali, and myself went and some some yummy lunch at a place in Lubbock called I Love Pho. It is a place with Vietnamese food. This was an appetizer we had, and it was quite delicious!

                                                     As you can tell, I quite enjoyed it :)


I have been very busy lately with wedding planning and trying to get all my t's crossed and i's dotted so that the big day will go smoothly. Lately I have had wonderful bridal showers that I am incredibly grateful for! It is so much fun, and it helps make it all feel more real :)

This was at the beautiful Midland Shower a couple of weeks ago. My mother on the left and my future Mother-in-Law on the right. So exciting :)

Our house project is coming along quite splendidly! Here was part of the metal frame towards the beginning of the project. The house is a one bedroom, one bathroom house, a 32 by 42.

As you can see there has bee quite a bit of progress since the beginning of the year! I am so incredibly excited! I really cannot wait to be able to live in our house, but I am even more excited to be married first!! :D

That is all for today, but as one can gather, life is surely going on as busily as expected but that's alright I simply must always remind myself to enjoy both the ups and the downs that God gives me in my life. Hope everyone is having a wonderful day!

God Bless!